my heart is a fist

my heart is a fist
curled up tight
like that will keep me
safe
my heart is a fist
curled up tight
no one can get in
& i cannot get
out
my heart is a fist
that pounds
& punches
me
while i pretend
it is my
heartbeat i hear
not
my loneliness.

i finished my novel. i finished my children’s book. and as of today i am cleared to start using my leg again.

so why do i feel like crap?
or is that exactly why i feel like crap? too much of a good thing causes the little voices to just lose their shit.
plus i have been doing some journaling where i write to my ex-fiance & mail off these musings never knowing if he even reads them because he STILL isn’t talking to me despite my dedicated stalking…er…fan mail?
strangely, it has been very therapeutic and this fist-heart thought & the above illustration is a result of it.

2 thoughts on “my heart is a fist

Add yours

  1. That is a lot of good things. If the little voices are losing their shit, perhaps the response could be a slight change to a famous movie line: “Frankly my dears, I don’t give a dam.”

    Even if he doesn’t read them, you’ve had your say.

    Liked by 1 person

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