all spread out…

he is my hidey hole
my whispering spot
where i can hide
my treasures
& scream out
all the despair
of my heart
he is
my path forward
my invisible friend
he is a sign
on the road
when i have forgotten
where i am going.

things to do with a broken knee….
1. fight with kids
2. stare at the wall
3. read
4. work on novel
5. work on children’s book
6. notice that the clouds are moving east to west rather than west to east
7. wait for mars in the night sky
8. write letters to an ex who won’t talk to you

i keep writing letters to the ex for whom i have a tattoo. my one who got away. though our relationship was flawed, he remains the only nice guy i ever loved. and boy did i love him. but that didn’t stop me from destroying the relationship. and boy did i destroy that relationship.
i have talked to him on & off over the years. i have only actually seen him in person once (though he does put up videos of himself on instagram pretty regularly)…somehow…not surprising…i did something to piss him off in the last handful of years & now he refuses to talk to me. or maybe he’s just given me up like a bad habit?
i try to leave him alone…give him his space…but then i go & break my knee and he becomes number 8 on my things to do list.
oh well…. at this point, with no response from him, he is just my hidey hole.

some “spreads” from my journal:

ps. september 6th is the day i am going to be allowed to walk again! so close…

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