doodles & journal pages

see my soft belly?
it’s where i keep
my secret pain
that comes
with motherhood
all my worries
all my disappointments
all my frustration & anger
i store it away
in the soft baggy folds
of my belly
behind the scars & stretch marks
there is all the things
they do not tell you
all the lessons
you have to learn

having a broken knee has taken me to a new level of pain as a mother. i need to journal more about this. my youngest, who i had a rough pregnancy with due to his father being an asshole, has taken to assaulting me every day with how much i do not love him….
& i cannot reason with him
& i cannot walk away….
so. so. so. much pain…but not in my knee.
it’s my heart that is broken.
it is me that is broken.

also, here is everything else i have been doing in my art journal.

11 thoughts on “doodles & journal pages

Add yours

  1. So painful to read. More painful to write, I know, but writing such things does help–if only to talk to a part of yourself you may be screening out. Is there any way you could leave? Life is short and I know change is hard but we all deserve to be around people who appreciate us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you. i already left the father…it’s now the son who is gaslighting like a pro…but he’s only 8 & i wouldn’t leave him even if i could. i just have to make it through & teach him a better way 🙂


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