i wanted to try finger painting with my inks.
crap. yesterday i drew tarot cards (again) & got “the tower” as my future card for the third time in a little over a month. i feel like i am supposed to be learning something but it turns into a negative feedback loop as i feel defeated every time i get a sign from the universe to stop being a fuck up…and then it’s all i can do to not be a fuck up.
am i lying to myself? am i building a house of cards that is just going to fall down? do i need to scrap everything & start over?
these are the questions prancing through my brain at 2am….
plus ever since i was rejected by an employer, i am convinced that everyone hates me. why not the universe as well?
so my finger painting was not nearly as inspirational as i had hoped it would be. now i just want to curl up in a ball & cry until i can’t cry anymore.
Yes, crying is good. I need more of it myself. Wanna have a crying party?
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it’s my party & i will cry (even if i don’t want to) xo
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I don’t hate you, emje. So there’s at least one.
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thank you! you such are a wonderful friend! xo
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Your painting is beautiful. Sounds like you are on the verge of another big step forward. 😍
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thank you! xo
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No hating you here – a fondness, actually
I wonder if you’d get better oracles from the I Ching. But I just looked at two interpretations of one hexagram from two sources and they were barely even similar, so IDK. (I haven’t even looked at it for ages)
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my tarot is brutally honest with me. i have a kinder deck that is more encouraging–but sometimes i need brutal honesty.
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Having a choice of oracles does help.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
EMJE – Frustrated tears?
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I don’t hate you; even in the slightest!
You are appreciated- thank you for being born.
Your path will always look like you felt- in another time, when you were still you.
Have some of my strength….but still be you!
Have some life.
It is yours.
~Friend Fist
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thank you! xo
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