i’m a boy watcher

funny that it isn’t
that
different
15 year old me
standing at my locker
talking about boys
with my girlfriends
51 year old me
standing in my front yard
talking about boys
with the divorced neighbor lady
nothing has changed
while everything has changed
& i wonder if those boys
still
have the power to crush
my heart
& i wonder
do i still have the power
to grow a new heart
& try
again?