buffering

“keep your distance”
is what my energy worker
tells me
is lurking in the energy field
just next to my skin
& i know
it is true
true of me now
& for as long
as i can remember
i don’t let
anyone
close
i am an open book
friendly even
sometimes…
but there is always
that invisible buffer
to keep you
form getting
too close
to me.

ah yes, the walls of the emje. carefully built & tended.
of course, in my tarot yesterday, i drew an upside down warrior who told me: putting up walls is a sign of weakness–not strength.
poop.
i guess i might need to dismantle the catapult and bake some muffins…
but seriously, after a lifetime of keeping everyone away, how do i learn to let people in?

5 thoughts on “buffering

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  1. We lose that trust we place in others, because we’d been, hurt, and, we may not trust anybody else, including ourselves for a long, long time, but, eventually, we realize, that, being guarded all the time, ready to defend our selves, against, the outside world is simply, too, tiresome, and hopefully, we will, learn to, trust again, because, not doing so, only, makes life harder, than it has to be.

    Liked by 1 person

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