so i totally wrote a big long thing in my journal about my ending of moses jones: apocalyptic mama…but i forgot to bring my journal to the library (i do not have internet at home.)
i will, as most things in life, wing it….
i started moses jones when i was living in a 30 person cooperative house with my ex-husband & our three children (fourth on the way.) my life was in turmoil as i was about one bad behavior from being kicked out of the co-op. said bad behaviors were in reaction to my ex-husband having relations with other women in our house all while we had an on-again/off-again relationship.
i was losing my mind.
i was also pursing an art degree at uw madison where i was lucky enough to have an instructor who encouraged me to pursue my own style of art & not to worry if it was popular or not.
if you have read my book confusion perfume & other neurotic comics, you know that moses started out as a transformation of my confusion perfume heroine, berny. however, moses quickly became her own woman. a zombie fighting mama. i did not intend for her to be so bitter & humorless, but much like the portrait of dorian gray, she kinda took that on for me i suppose.
as i worked on my final project for my art class, the beginnings of moses jones, my ex-husband noticed that he was missing from the story. we must have been in an on-again stage because i did try to write him in once i started doing pages for the comic. however, like moses, he did not turn out the way i thought he would…& dusty knickers was born. the absent father.
which pissed off my ex-husband. he will now deny that character is based on him.
i have worked on this comic on and off for nine years. it has grown up with the youngest of my children. i did not get the story out the way i planned. the story took its own path. there is a lot i would do different. there is a lot of unfinished i think i should finish…
yet somehow, the story is done.
i need to let it go.
i cried after i finished this page.
moses jones has been a sort of friend for these past nine years. someone i could turn to who i knew would not hesitate to put dusty knickers in the ground.
but i need to move forward now. past this story and on to a new one.
I think that working on any project for that long and then in an odd way realizing it is finished is disorienting. When I set out to get the house I inherited ready to sell, I figured it would take a couple of years (due to working on a budget). Well, there were surprises and it took seven years. Then, when I got it listed it was under contract in four days. It’s kind of like getting fired from a job, and wondering what’s next.
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totally 🙂 just waiting to see where my journey goes now. and since i am resolved to moving my art forward whether it is popular/profitable or not, the sky’s the limit!
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
EMJE – A story done
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Oh man. This is huge. HUGE!
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letting go. moving forward. killing my darlings.
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