quite contrary

why is it
i resist
so much
of what’s expected
of me
mary mary
quite contrary
if you say
go left
you know i am going
right
if you think i am
a good girl
you can bet your ass
i’m gonna be
bad
bad
bad

hmm. how can i make my life more complicated? my mom was the first one to call me “mary mary quite contrary.” i cannot say she was wrong. i am spiteful, bitter, & contrary.
but in a fun way.
more introspection in the pursuit of a version of me that might be able to date again.
i know once upon a time i had a heart that was bold, playful, & perhaps way too open…. but life & other bullshit put a damper on that heart of mine. it’s gotten so the social parts of me have been washed away in a downpour of anti-social sentiment.
and now i am swimming up river
struggling to get that flue of my heart back open (i did finally get a woodstove for madness manor–hence the overuse of that metaphor)