this was more difficult that it looks.
but it is my effort to not feel underserving all the fucking time.
so like the other day they started knocking down the house across the road from me, opening up the view of the valley:
the view is now breath-taking, but because i spent so much time wishing that house was gone–& now it is–i feel like i have done something wrong.
jesus fucking christ. why can’t i just enjoy the view?
& today while doing yoga, i was admiring my feet that have healed up after being infested with warts for 18 years, and somehow i felt like i didn’t deserve to have pretty feet?
what the ever-loving fuck.
so i wrote this page. my punishment for feeling unworthy?