worst supporting actress

i don’t want to be
the main attraction
the director
the head liner
i want to be a
part of the cast
one of the crew
i don’t want to be
the captain
i don’t want it all
to depend on me
i don’t want to go
with the ship
i don’t want
to be
the mom….

unfortunately, i do not play well with others so being part of the cast is not easy for me either…. fuck me. i am still having an identity crisis. i do not want to be alone. i do not want to be the one in charge.
but am i destined to be alone?
a loner?
unable to cooperate with the masses well enough to blend in?
how do i find the balance of community & not being a pissed off misanthrope?

6 thoughts on “worst supporting actress

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  1. This reminds me of a song line from Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb…”Did you trade your walk-on part in the war, for a lead role in a cage?” You have not done that. Be proud of that, mama. It is hard, but you have not sold yourself out as so many people do. Hang in there. As Mary Oliver said, “Yes, there is life without love……it is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied”, and that sucks to live without a love attachment with another….but it is so much worse to give up authenticity. Rave on, friend. One day you will meet your match, and he/she/it will love and understand you just as you are, and the wait will have been worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love all your work and I agree with Paradox that it’s a lot like that Floyd song, (a huge compliment as Floyd is just well you know) but it also made me think about what we value and what we do not and why. You always make me think.

    Liked by 1 person

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