innocent abandon

with the help of a beer
& a novel
i realize
i will never love anyone
the way i loved him
innocent
abandon
eyes wide open
believing it would
never
end
now i know
all about
endings
& have trouble
seeing past them
to new
beginnings.

there are a couple of relationships this could describe. a couple of forever afters leaving me jaded after they crashed & burned.
will i ever be able to find another beginning? it just seems impossible.