so sorry

i’m sorry things are rough right now
i tell them
i’m sorry
i’m always saying
sorry things are rough right now
i tell them
wondering
what will ever change
in order
to eliminate my profuse
apologies
are things
really
ever
not going to be rough?
what would that even look like?
i become a best selling author?
an internationally respected artist?
i find my prince charming
and his gallant steed?
& that’s when i realize
any hopes
for smooth sailing
are basically
fairy tales
& i cover my bases
by apologizing
once more.

seriously. is rough just the way my life is meant to be? do i keep doing it to myself? i mean, i could have kept renting & not have to deal with a house in need of attention…but of course, then i would still have the stress of renting….
and if we start down the road of coulda shouldas we are going to fall right down a rabbit hole and i have already spent way too much time in that rabbit hole….

so!
things are rough. they might always be rough. i guess, what i just need to do (to use yet another metaphor), is to develop my sea legs. ride out those rough waters.
enjoy the fucking ride even.

2 thoughts on “so sorry

Add yours

  1. You made the gutsy and honest move to own your own destiny-home. That is teaching good things to the young ones, I think; They’re watching applied courage every single day. Stick to your guns! Life IS rough. We are all rockstars for having decided to take the plunge down to Earth – what a bungee jump. One leap at a time, one step at a time once we land here.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: