mass withdrawl

you know how most kids act out
for attention
not me
i withdrew
the less attention i got
the more i withdrew
the more i withdrew
the less attention i got
until i had dug myself a nice little hole
& stayed there
even when i did get attention
i dug the hole a little deeper
because now that attention
terrified me
& all i could do
was hide from it.

here is more on what is happening for me in a more general way…why i am struggling…why i can’t seem to get my shit together. i am comfortable with being invisible…but now i am letting myself be more & more visible. and that is wreaking havoc with a number of my personalities.

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