matchbook

you sit on your box of matches
fingers itching to burn some bridges
too much commotion
in your soul
voices whispering that they never liked you
anyway
& you are bound to disappoint…
one bridge already burned…or on fire
at least
a friend boarding a train bound for disaster
& you are unable to endure
another
trainwreck.

i recently broke up with a friend…no, wait, not even. i ghosted her. the ol’ irish goodbye. i didn’t even know i was going to do it, but on retrospect, my feelings of not wanting to deal with it any longer had been building for awhile. my resentments had been building for awhile.
it is so hard to deal with other people’s drama sometimes.
and once i set that bridge on fire, i really wanted to keep setting fires…but i am sitting on my box of matches…trying to wait out my angst to see clearly.