dear pete

it was like you thought i was lovable?
beautiful?
and all i could do was try &
prove to you
how ugly i am
and i did everything
everything
to make you see
the ugly in me
but you wouldn’t see it
so all i could do was become
more & more
ugly.

that’s what happens/has happened to me when i am in relationships with people who are not so much abusive. i guess i have issues of worth? so if you are nice to me, i try to give you a reason not to be?”
yay.
hopefully i have outgrown this.
who wants to take me for a test run?a