metaphorically

my soul turns to stone & it is impossible
to pick it up. my heart is slowly
sinking & i desperately look for
anything i can throw overboard
i am a hungry dog with a bone
–barely a bone even–
& i guard it with all i have left
of me because it is all i have left
of me.

this is my still trying to dig myself back up to the surface of me…and just going deeper & deeper instead. i was getting body work done when i started this thought in my head and it was all i could do to not just run screaming away from the appointment because it just wasn’t working. nothing was working. i feel this way, & i don’t know how to stop. i just have to write down what i am feeling and wait for the ebb to come.