wildfire

i always imagine
transformation
as a gentle
& lovely
opening of sorts…
but what if
my transformation
is violent
& ugly
in its own beautiful way
a ripping away
of everything
that is wrong
everything
that no longer works
a wildfire
in my soul
killing off
dead wood
& invasive growth
to make room
for foundation
to grow stronger
with new ideas
coloring
everything
in green.

the more i think about this…the more i think my transformation is akin to a more violent event. birth can be such a thing. blood, urine, meconium, uterine fluid….a beautiful mess. a beautiful painful mess–emotionally & physically. or the way an island is born, with a volcano erupting & life slowly creeping in.
i might play around with this idea more.
right now i am so so tired…but my kids are due to go away to their dad’s for a week, so maybe i can sleep &/or erupt while they are gone.