where is the key?

my cocoon is both
a safe place
warm & comforting
as well as
a prison
a place to escape
but where
is the key?
i have kept
myself
in here
too
long
telling myself the same lies
the same
excuses
but the walls
are beginning
to suffocate
& will only
soften
when i do.

more journaling about this cocoon i am trying to find the door for. more illustration of an androgynous god. i did get butterfly earrings from my son & for myself (coincidentally) for our winter solstice celebration. so maybe this transformation is in the works?