i don’t want to be
alone
but i cannot imagine
anyone
loving me….
my broken bits shine in this one. it’s a deep fear of mine…or deep belief. i am working on rooting it out. as you will see in coming pages about my body image, mother image, and aging which affect and are affected by my feeling unlovable. hopefully i can exorcise this demon one day soon…or, entanglement of demons (the name of my next band.)
Quixotic Mama 
Sending a virtual hug. Sometimes this is what writing is for…
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thank you!
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I wish I had something clever or supportive to uplift you with, but I am tired of hollow “new-age” BS, and what I am left with is the notion that while emotional needs might be only relatively real illusions of maya, they are nevertheless at least as relatively real as smashing your thumb with a hammer, and my relative truth be known, I am riding in a strikingly similar relatively real boat of my own. Longing for a mate is in my opinion, quite natural. The only respite that I have uncovered so far (besides additive substances) is meditation, and the “emptiness box” that I encounter down at the Paradox Garage. I figure personal relationships are little more than a diversion of sorts from our existential situation, but as far as diversions go, they feel pretty good at times. Sometimes that is enough. Best to you. Your dark haired Leo is looking for you too.
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xo
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