from my art journal

i go to see a doctor who is trained in the neurosciences and does a mix of chiropractic work & energy work. when i see him i often find an issue of mine to work on. this time it was when he almost seemed embarrassed to tell me i had a spot in me claiming that i am overwhelmed. he said it was arbitrary to everything he knew about me. then he found a spot telling him that i feel the need to do everything myself. he seemed to feel the spots conflicted. i told him, “you just described me. overwhelmed & trying to do it all myself.”
then i started thinking about it. am i overwhelmed? or is that just a story i tell myself? a handicap i give myself in this game called life? a backdoor to my problems?
these are the pages i wrote about it.