this is what a mother looks like

i asked my kids
after i died of throat cancer
from screaming at them
if they would remember
what i said.
they answered “yes”
…but only because they didn’t really
to what i was
i’m not sure how to feel…
my throat hurts.

don’t ask how the packing is going…just…don’t ask….

these are images i did for a watercolor class some years back…a week of illustrations of how i felt as a mom. things haven’t changed too much.

12 thoughts on “this is what a mother looks like

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  1. My mom used to say the same thing. I won’t say how she died. It is still sad — and I wish I had listened. more to her as I miss her voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Emje,
    I love the watercolors and I so understand your words. When my Mom died, for a long time, I couldn’t remember the sound of her voice and the woman knew how to use her voice. It was the oddest and then the scariest damned thing. Then one night I dreamed she was talking with me and I woke up crying because I remembered and she was there and I so needed to hear her again! Hang in there! Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you! motherhood is such a tricky thing. i did not have a good relationship with my own mother, which has really had an impact on my own experience as a mother. ❤ thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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