fallen III

you’ve always known
you were
different
you thought
maybe
an alien
or an angel
a changeling of some sort
surely
something
mythical
& you are
mythical
as fuck
a beast of many
faces
you are not who you
expected
you would
be
but!
with a grin
& a shrug
you accept this turn
of events.

i’ve always played around with my dark side. i’ve always recognized it & even celebrated it. but this is the first time i have embraced it by making it my identity.
it’s liberating in a way i did not expect.
i have always struggled to believe i was good after being raised by parents who were quick to let us know we were not–in their weird covert catholic way.
i try to be good, but the bad leaks out & terrorizes me, traumatizes me, presents itself as proof that i will never ever be a good person.
i think we all have a devil/demons/darkness inside.
& maybe the more we fight it…push it down…try to “control” it, the stronger it becomes. the more traumatizing to the part of us that believes in good.
but embracing it.
welcoming it
accepting it
this allows a person to be more complete and at peace with themselves.
a healing of sorts.

it’s a theory, and i’m testing it with my art journals.
buckle up, y’all
i have got pages & pages of this stuff.
i’m not sure what to call it…a serial free verse narrative? with pictures!

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