smoke & ashes

i don’t think
my lonely
could get any
bigger
i mean
where would it go
even?
that much
lonely?
it would fill
a hot air balloon
& float it
to the moon
i wish
i could
send my lonely
to the moon
root it out of
its nest
in my
heart
burn it
in a bonfire
on a dark solstice night
turn my lonely
to smoke & ash
& wait for the light
to
return.

with big feelings come art journal pages. as i learn how to celebrate my brother instead of mourning him…the other pain rises to the surface. the pain of a broken heart.
a broken marriage.
a man who could not be the person i needed him to be and instead became a monster set on destroying me.
devouring
me.
the lonely is so large right now as i don’t know how i will ever find love again.
but my heart still wants to look.

6 thoughts on “smoke & ashes

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  1. i love your art so much. id really love to find more of your poems about this Devouring Man you gave your love to. Been thinking of you since Christmas is Tuesday, i imagine its hard. i hope you have a Merry Christmas with your kids

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you! i’m sure there are a bunch about him. i tend to vomit my emotions & he took my emotions for a roller coaster ride.
      happy solstice! i hope you are feeling better ❤

      Like

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