i need more notebooks

i have decided
on my weapon of choice
it is my pen
my literal fucking pen
like my blood
runs black
with ink
pen
of course it is my pen
what else would it be
why does it take me 
a lifetime
to figure out something
i knew
before i started searching
for an
answer?

okay. so. for me to write…i actually have to write…not type. for me to create, i have to move my hands. i have to doodle. i have to feel the paper under my skin. 
longhand is the language i speak.
otherwise, it just doesn’t work. i have a beginning. a page or two. and then i wander off, trusting my laptop to keep it safe should i ever wander back.
but!
put it on paper. lay that notebook on top of my laptop. or carry it with me everywhere i go….
now that
that is writing.
so yes. i started writing…only to realize, i need more notebooks.

ps. i set up a ko-fi account last night when i was avoiding confronting my desire to start working on a collection from my art journal series….
so! if you want, you can now buy me a coffee notebook

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