he came to me in a dream
ready to end
my misery
with talons
like razors
a creature from–
well…
nightmares
a feathered man
tall dark & handsome
my sure
demise
but to my credit
i fought
for my
wretched
life
even resorting to
my
feminine
wiles.
a little something different.
maybe too much halloween candy, but i had a vivid dream last night about a big blackbird-man who came to finish me off. except he was also sexy. i think i have a pretty conflicted view of men.
speaking of….
so who remembers clan of the cave bear? my brain often references the idea in it that ayla is guarded by her spirit animal, the cave bear who scarred her. she is thereby deemed to have too strong of an energy for most men to mate with her and make a child with her.
i think of the grizzly bear as one of my main spirit guides. i feel her energy in me & feel i am protected by her.
i have found that my strength makes dating tricky. which i think is weird…but it seems to be true.
until (at least) this point in my life i have chosen physically small men. feminine men. men who do not seem threatening to me…. yes, i chose them. if i wait to be chosen, it is a long wait. however, most of the men i choose then turn me upside down–& not in a good way. most of them seem threatened by me. most of them try to dominate & degrade me.
so i’m thinking maybe i should be looking for a romantic interest that has–at least–the grizzly bear spirit i have?
i dunno.
just brainstorming here. it’s not like i have suitors lining up at my door to choose from.
Quixotic Mama 
I remember Clan of the Cave Bear. I also find it disheartening no one ever write about a medium height handsome bald man. Seems like a real missed opportunity
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yes it does.
i remember in my early twenties i had a good friend (who you remind me a lot of)…when he found out i had a thing for bruce willis & other men with receding hair lines, he told me i would be very happy when i reached middle-age.
not quite the same thing, i know–but still….
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I win so few I’ll definitely take it!
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I sent you an email with the interpretation. But Clan of the Cave Bear, Ayla’s totem was actually the cave lion and was considered the fiercest of all totems. Even over the bear (more on that). She was only able to find a mate with the same totem because it was so strong that it would have overpowered all others. But yes, I do remember the books. As for the bear, they really aren’t super dominating, although powerful. Bears tend to be whispers and behind the scenes. You see their passing (in their trails and footprints) but usually not the bear themselves. They tend to like to be alone but are also protective of their cubs. Now.. the grizzly DOES have a tendency to be a bit overly-sensitive and can overreact at times. They need their own space and boundaries for sure. So you need someone who respects that. Did this help? No probably not. I just started rambling. I stop now.
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its been a long time since i read the book–thank you. fun sex scenes–i remember that much! thanks for the email. i have been playing with the blackbird-man image a lot & want to explore it more.
(this bear tends to be dominating & sensitive–a tricky combo)
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Strong needs strong, and my brand of crazy seems to attract a similar kind of crazy, and your poem is beautiful
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thank you! my crazy draws in the crazy as well. i don’t know if i need to remedy that or just find a crazy that does not drive me more crazy.
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I found Sunshine. He’s crazy too. We got lucky, though; our crazies compliment each other😁😁😁
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