the smart one

i have never been
the beautiful one
it has always been
my sister
my friend
my roommate
my co-worker
i’m the other one
“the smart one,”
as one barfly told me
i am the smart one
decidedly not
the beautiful one but
the weird one
the quirky one
the creative one
the gal pal
the one night stand
not
not not not
the forever girl
not
the beautiful one
i’m pretty
i’m the girl next door
i have
a nice
smile
but…you know…
i am not
helen of troy.

i dunno. maybe on some level we all feel this way? i know my sister (“the pretty one,” per that same barfly) was recently lamenting that i was the one everyone thought was prettiest. of course, her only reference was my aunt marilyn…though my other sister’s mother-in-law also said it. but, you know what? that’s a fucking crappy thing to say to any sister. “you’re the pretty one.” fuck that bullshit.
i know i’m not beautiful.
but i have so much more. so much more!

now if i could just stop binge-watching high school romances i might be able to function again.

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Author: emje

oh! i know who i am now i am sad & silly i am fierce & fantastic i am passionate & magical i am a fucking unicorn

8 thoughts on “the smart one”

  1. I remember a man saying to me, and I quote: “your sister is SO beautiful! …. you look nothing like her.” Wow. Thanks. That felt awesome. So, yeah, I know. I’m in the same situation (minus the movies). I’m telling you, you are my soul sister emje. I think you are wonderful, inside and out. I truly do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you! i have three beautiful sisters who were always fawned over. i have always felt like the plain one. then when people did start telling me i was beautiful–i assumed they were full of shit.

      Liked by 1 person

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