status: sort of coping…how are you?

i am trying not to spin out. i’m at one of those–“no wait, this is the first day of the rest of my life” moments.
again…right?
everything i have read today on wordpress has me thinking:

1.) well, i’m not alone
2.) wow, they wrote it so much better

so i’m waffling between it being pointless for me to contribute to an already strong tide of writing…and wanting to jump in & share my uniquely similar thoughts & experiences.

so i wrote a few pages.
but i also have a sink full of dirty dishes.
a carpet that has forgotten what the vacuum sounds like.
a pile of cucumbers on the table demanding i do–what–pickles? why do i have so many cucumbers?
laundry laundry laundry!
a 12 year old glaring at me because i used my sense of humor for parenting & did it wrong.
a 10 year old who wants me to go outside & bounce a tennis ball with him or it is further proof that i do not love him.
a four year old who desperately requires routine so it is imperative that after he poops i must not only wipe his bottom but also foot-race him down the hallway after he flushes.
and a six year old…wait…where’s my six year old? i should probably know where my six year old is….

so
i re-posted a couple of poems that i wish i had written (coming soon–my book, a collection of poems i wish i had written)
and maybe later i will get around to drawing some journal pages?
maybe?

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19 thoughts on “status: sort of coping…how are you?

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  1. I think I can relate to some of what you’re saying. I very often go back and forth between being inspired by the amazing writing I read and being discouraged, feeling like I’m wasting my time. I think it’s part of the creative condition to doubt yourself and feel not good enough. I think my life could be much simpler if I didn’t feel compelled to write.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. right? i was thinking last night…what do people do with their extra energy & thoughts if they don’t write…or draw…or some other artistic expression? it does seem like a different world.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think you hit the nail on the head…
        It’s part of the reason I don’t do Facebook…too much of that time was just mindless scrolling and liking pictures…I feel like, at least on here, there’s a bit more depth to the scrolling and clicking…
        Or maybe I just hope there is… 🤔

        Liked by 3 people

  2. I know exactly what you mean… I think we all feel that way occasionally, as if everything that we do is pointless and better left to others who seem to be more inherently prepared. In the end though, I at least just remind myself that I write because I feel compelled, because there is a drive within me to do so, and that how my writing compares to others is irrelevant. I can say, honestly, that your writing I have read is excellent, indicative of a unique perspective and a gift of language. Please keep writing; your voice is needed here. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. thank you! i always feel like my writing (much like my conversation) assumes the reader knows what is going on in my head–which leads to it being somewhat confusing & incomplete. but if i don’t write– yikes. i don’t even want to think about that! i have to write. i am therefore i write?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are very welcome. All writing comes with some level of inaccessible due to context. I am learning more and more than most readers will find their own meaning, while some will be family enough with the writer to understand the intended message. But both are valid, and both find value all their own. I am glad that you continue to write. I completely understand that drive. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You’ve got something that they don’t though (sink full of dirty dishes.
    a carpet that has forgotten what the vacuum sounds like.
    a pile of cucumbers, etc. etc.) I don’t think they wrote it better… just different. I really like reading your take on things.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You have a unique style, both in writing and art, that I thoroughly enjoy. When I sign on to WordPress, I always think “What has emje posted today?” And no matter if you’ve written a poem or your thoughts, I always feel my time was well spent reading.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you so much! it feels so good to hear that! i am not just being self-deprecating for a reaction–i really am not sure of the quality of my work. like most of me, i think i’m awesome, but i suspect i am the only one who thinks this. so thank you!

      Like

  5. I can’t help myself. I’ve got a big smile on my face as I read about your day. It just seems so relatable. I don’t have kids, and yet I felt a kinship with you because of how you delivered the rundown of your day. That’s some pretty impressive writing, if you ask me.

    Liked by 2 people

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