performance anxiety & high school reunions

emails from ex-cheerleaders
high school reunion
for this small town freak
i was going to be famous
by now
i was going to be
bigger than the beatles
but
you know
life got in the way
now i am a single mom
an unknown
just another cog
turning circles around
social media
but going nowhere
really.

so if anyone is looking for a good time, i have an invite to my 30 year high school reunion….
i wasn’t invited to my 20 year…the only time i actually was in a relationship. granted it was with dusty…but he’s charming & easy on the eyes. he might have been a good date….
my 10 year i was invited to…and i found a date…but then i ended up deciding it would be more fun just to get laid & skip the reunion.
that was pretty much how a lot of my decision making was done when i was in my 20s.

i have been depressed ever since i got the invite.
plus i had to see dusty to pick up the kids yesterday.
plus every song is still reminding me of seymour as he continues to ignore me….

in other news!

i was invited to join the literati mafia!!! so my imposter’s syndrome and anxiety about anyone noticing me is on full blast.
full blast, y’all.
and i am working on a post for them. which, of course, i am worried will not be good enough…but in my head it is an awesome response to the invite to my high school reunion/another obsessive piece about seymour.

so stay tuned!

(the illustration today is my practicing my figure drawing. lots of nipples & cooch in figure drawing, as it turns out.)

ps. i posted my memoir, in full without illustrations over on medium.

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Author: emje

oh! i know who i am now i am sad & silly i am fierce & fantastic i am passionate & magical i am a fucking unicorn

13 thoughts on “performance anxiety & high school reunions”

      1. like i own anything else! i gave up on heels a long time ago. there weren’t enough weddings & funerals to justify fancy shoes.
        if i do end up going, i would be skipping the fancy steakhouse & showing up “front-loaded” (as my first husband would say) at the after-bar. there is no way i could deal with these people sober…. should i put that in my reply to the invitation?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LMAO
        Well, admittedly I do own one single pair of (clunky) heels. But my “nice” clothes are probably frumpy compared to city-people standards, lol. I’m okay with this. Yeah, maybe add that little tidbit onto the invite. Haha! My graduating class had eleven people, including me. And my best friend is one of them. And I see some of the others at least once a year. A reunion would be a joke for us! But I’ll go to yours and we can suffer together! Solidarity, sister!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. yikes! and i thought a class of 70 was too intimate. since i have moved back to my small town–i am pretty sure everyone knows my business…but i live in the country so i never actually have to interact with any of them.
        we don’t need fancy clothes, you & i can dazzle them with our awesomeness.

        Liked by 1 person

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