creative process (aka how i draw me)

you may have noticed
that my favorite subject is me
you know
just like all the other great artists
i am available
to pose
anytime
anyplace….

but here’s the thing. i don’t look at myself when i draw myself. or, rather, i look inside at me instead of outside at me.
when i look in a mirror or at a picture of myself,
sometimes i am all like, “hey, hot stuff.”
other times i wonder when i became a bloated hag.
so i tend to avoid mirrors & photos
especially when i do a self-portrait.
like check this out…

smaller me3
here is a photo i took because my hair today looked like the way i draw it. so it was my proof that i’m not always exaggerating. then i decided to show y’all how i draw a self-portrait from an actual face of mine.

selfie
yikes.
i am not a portrait artist.
i like the way i look in my head…or, rather, the self-portraits i draw while remembering what i look like…or what it feels like to be me.
that’s it–
i draw me the way it feels to be me.
that is my creative process.

disclaimer: i took like five minutes to do each of these self-portraits as my minions are waiting impatiently to go for a walk.

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Author: emje

oh! i know who i am now i am sad & silly i am fierce & fantastic i am passionate & magical i am a fucking unicorn

8 thoughts on “creative process (aka how i draw me)”

    1. thank you. i think one of the reasons i draw myself so much is an effort to accept myself. i honestly don’t know what i look like to other people. i only know i have been rejected more than i have been accepted (or so it seems) and i have internalized this as meaning i am unattractive. so i do this study of my own face to try to figure out who i am and to love that person…if that makes sense.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! That’s exactly my own thoughts about myself! I use my art in attempt to figure myself out and to make myself a better person. We must be, like, soul sisters LOL. (Hopefully that doesn’t sound weird, I just mean to say, we seem to have similar thoughts and experiences.)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. that doesn’t sound weird at all, i am always on the lookout for members of my tribe. it’s one of the things that blogging has been good for ❤ i have totally felt a connection to you & your writings.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. That bit you wrote next to you portrait about “the real me” reminds me strongly of a poem by a German guy who was imprisoned by the Nazi’s called Bonhoeffer. He wrote a famous poem asking similar questions.

    Here is a little of it:

    “….
    Am I then really that which other men tell of?
    Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
    Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
    Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
    Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
    Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
    Tossing in expectations of great events,
    Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
    Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
    Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

    Who am I? This or the Other?
    Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
    ….”

    Liked by 1 person

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