dodo dreaming

when i was a kid
i coped by mentally packing
what will i take?
where will i go?
what will i do?
when i was in an abusive
i coped
by mentally packing
what will i take?
where will i go?
what will i do?
have led me back
to my childhood
& the precarious situation
of having my parents
as my
if things
my brain is already

look at dodo bird me.
i wish i could say things with my folks were magically healing and wonderful. that my mom gave me a hug and said, “sorry i was such a crap-ass mom.” and then dad would apologize for being an asshole. and then unicorns would dance across rainbows.

my mom is not talking to me. my dad is avoiding me.
mom only talks to complain about me and to sing dusty’s praises–loudly in front of me. apparently he is a better daughter than i have ever been. for the life of me, i cannot think of anything i have done to her.
whatever it was it must have been super awful.
i had dusty come down. he has the super powers of a sociopath where he can be in the trenches and not be effected.
not mentally & emotionally
shut down.
dusty is literally a life-saver in this situation.


Author: emje

oh! i know who i am now i am sad & silly i am fierce & fantastic i am passionate & magical i am a fucking unicorn

2 thoughts on “dodo dreaming”

  1. Don’t put yourself down. They had 6 great kids and being alcoholic didn’t take care of you. I don’t know who your dad cares about – himself, maybe. Right now the only one your mother cares about is dear St. E. As for grandkids, they don’t seem to care about any of them. It’s very sad. Who said they put the fun in disfunctional didn’t know these 2.

    Liked by 1 person

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