you never wanted to do this
you never wanted
to do this
you feel so lost
& you suffer that pain
as you tell yourself to hold it together
as you tell yourself to keep a happy face
all you want to do
is break things
until your voice is raw
until your eyes are dry
because you have nothing
left to give
all you want to do is sink
somehow you have to
more motherhood angst leaking from my head & onto my page.
yay! but, you know what? it keeps my head out of the oven.
misha pointed out that iggy doesn’t have a face in this on or in the previous one. i’m not sure why. subconscious–would you like to weigh in?
iggy is a very challenging child. it doesn’t help that he is the one most like his father.
the reason for a lot of my angst.
he checked out the first time i got pregnant. he was no longer the center of my universe, and he turned from mr. perfect into mr. perfect asshole.
yet somehow i still had three more children with him.
and now i am raising them alone.
because he has just become more & more perfect
at being an asshole.
being a single mom sucks ass. it truly does. but living with dusty sucks bigger ass. so while i am living the lesser of two evils–i’m still pissed off about it.