smoke in the air

he lures me outside with a cigarette
he wants “to talk”
he always wants “to talk”
except when it mattered
years & years ago
& years not so long ago
when i tried
& tried & tried & tried
to get him to talk to me….
he’s leaving again
i’m making him leave
again
& he is sad
& i try not to let his sad seep into my soul…
once the talk is done
(for now)
we come back inside
& as i remove my coat
the necklace that he gave me for a birthday long ago
falls
falls from its place around my neck
a broken cord
…how much more symbolic can you get?

this self-portrait got away from me. i ended up looking like my mom…again. or tom waits…and what the fuck is up with the coloring?

with all of these journal pages, i think i will re-do them as a finished piece…one day…if i like them enough.

maybe then this one won’t look the way i feel inside.

(or is that a good thing–art wise?)

while doing this, i also did a collaboration with misha who wanted me to paint the hand she had drawn. i like the way this one turned out. i think we should print it up and sell it. misha can do all the sales though–she may not speak coherently, but she has oodles of personality & charisma…probably inherited from her dad 😦

collaborationwithclementine

Advertisements

Author: emje

i'm a disaster at every type of relationship i enter into...except with my kids. i think i'm doing something right there...but it is difficult to tell sometimes, especially since i have a pretty crappy support system since support involves relationships. i am a pretty dark person with a weird sense of humor. i spend my non-mom time cooking, baking, homesteading, fermenting, planting, sprouting, experimenting, reading, writing, drawing, plotting, obsessing, and hiding. as a mom i am about as unconventional as i can get. i unschool my kids & give them a lot of freedom to be who they are. this does not help my popularity. but my kids are super cool. i love my kids.

4 thoughts on “smoke in the air”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s