my sun sign
is a cautious one
a suspicious one
keeping her shell close at hand
just in case.
i will run head long
into a disastrous relationship…
while carefully skirting
my chances for
a healthy one
what the what
does that even make sense?
i run from the chance to be
why do i do that?
just know that today
i am choosing to stand
these epiphanies are brought to you courtesy of a facebook messenger conversation with a boy i met on an online dating site.
i don’t know if he is good news or bad. i guess that remains to be discovered. what i do know is that as soon as i realized he was in fact interested in me (after three weeks of messaging,) i freaked the fuck out.
who knows why.
but i can tell you, the same thing happened when i was a teenager and a cute, sweet boy i had a crush on showed me interest. and again when i was in my twenties, when a sane & sweet one was in love with me.
but what about all those assholes i threw myself at without a second thought?
i have no idea what is wrong with me.
and i am done analyzing myself.
now it is just time to re-write the script.
as i said yesterday, it is time to heal.
so i am going on a date, y’all.
after some really awkward and sad flirting (i am NOT good at flirting even on my best day) i am going on a date.
so, assuming he is not a serial killer, i am no longer running away.