focus on art (not romance)

i really have been trying to get art done. aside from being distracted by dating sites, part of my process is to just stare at ink stains. this one feels really strong to me. i see the picture already, and for that reason, i am hesitant to start because i am afraid i will fuck it up & not pull off the image that is already in my head.

also on the table for today is trying to do intentional stains for pictures. instead of letting the stain choose the form entirely, manipulating it a bit to capture what i am thinking. i’m going to play around, see what happens. i’m still not sure it is a direction i want to go, but i definitely want to play with it.

i am very excited about my art right now. what started as an exercise is turning into a style that i really click with. i love the randomness of it. i love the originality of it. i end up creating pictures i never would have if i had just sat down with a blank piece of paper. and no one else can do it. i mean, give the exact same stain to another person, it will turn into a different drawing. plus, they cannot be replicated. i could take one image and replicate it, but i cannot replicate the stain that creates the inspiration for the image. if that makes sense. and that really appeals to me.

each one is a special snowflake…just like me…ha!

so i am posting this now, in the morning, to see if it reaches more people. often my inkings are not finished until evening or even night depending on the behavior of my minions and my attention span. i post them then…but i am wondering if i should wait & post them the following morning/afternoon.

let me know if you have an opinion.

finally.
i quit the plenty of fish online dating site. so that’s two dating sites down. next time i weaken, i will have to try another one. but for the time being, i just want to focus on my art and see if any romance happens organically. i don’t like trying to force it, and i felt like i was forcing it. i felt like i was saying, “oh he’s not completely awful” when i should be saying, “holy crap i would have a fifth child to be with him!” (i don’t want a fifth child to come out of my body–just demonstrating what i would do for the right guy…hopefully the right guy would not want to make more babies with me because…well, that ship has sailed. again, just emphasizing what kind of insanity i want to feel when i see a potential mate…hmmm. maybe i shouldn’t date until after menopause sets in….)

so!
in summary, i am focusing on my art which i have fallen in love with and not worrying about the whole dating thing right now.

yay.

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Author: emje

i'm a disaster at every type of relationship i enter into...except with my kids. i think i'm doing something right there...but it is difficult to tell sometimes, especially since i have a pretty crappy support system since support involves relationships. i am a pretty dark person with a weird sense of humor. i spend my non-mom time cooking, baking, homesteading, fermenting, planting, sprouting, experimenting, reading, writing, drawing, plotting, obsessing, and hiding. as a mom i am about as unconventional as i can get. i unschool my kids & give them a lot of freedom to be who they are. this does not help my popularity. but my kids are super cool. i love my kids.

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